BREATHE Analysis

Exciting hardly does the feeling justice.

I just reviewed our first ever analysis of our feature script, BREATHE.  Actually, there were two readers, and each offered their own insight and suggestions on how we may improve the whole of our brain child.

First, let me assure my followers that I have never now, nor have I ever, held any feelings of ill will toward anyone who offers criticism of anything I, or my colleagues, write.  Rewrites, questions, and suggestions are as much of the writing process as forming the initial outline, designing “The Board,”, and filling in the details.  What works and what doesn’t are part of a stories transformation into something that others will (hopefully) want to produce.

Second, we established, each of my writing partners and I, a healthy understanding of not being too emotionally attached to any story.  No story can grow to it’s fullest potential when it’s creator becomes too emotionally attached.  We relish the changes and suggestions offered by others.  We are writers and as such, we read, we watch, we brainstorm, and most importantly, we write about what drives us.  In focusing on our craft, we sometimes miss what’s desired by our potential audiences and therefore, we must rely on them to help keep us grounded.

That said, let’s get on with it.  Regarding the analysis of our story.

Of the two readers, both seemed genuinely intrigued by the theme, however execution was a concern for both.

Reading their comments, I come to one conclusion right from the start.  The antagonist is misidentified or not clearly identified.  Both readers misread the last 10 pages or so where the final reveal is given unmasking the real master-mind, who, until that time, is thought to be a savior of sorts.  We’ve spent so much time making the unsuspecting patsy the primary suspect, that apparently, the patsy had assumed the identity of the antagonist.  A huge blunder on our part in our first attempt at a cloak and dagger-esque feature script.  We, obviously, need to address that.

Next, both readers were taken aback by our apparent attempt at a love interest between the two leads.  A weakness, the team as a whole, knew would come to light but for the life of us, seem to be unable to address.  How does one create a love interest when everything is changing violently around them?  It seems clear, however, that we must find an answer to this some how.  Do we even need a love interest in this “who they really were, tell all story of a fictional master mind driven to the edge?”

The core plot of the story is also misinterpreted.  The story is focused on the villainy performed by the savior through acts that the character is convinced, in the long run, will save humanity.  That is the character’s only goal.  The story reveals the acts of that character, whom we know from the beginning is hailed as the savior of mankind.  It is the secret betrayal, sacrifice, and treachery the character commits to make their vision come to pass that the story uncovers.  We attempt to do this by jumping back and forth through timelines.  Each jump is designed to reveal another aspect of the scene; the truth of the character revealed like the inside of an onion as the outer layers are cut away.   My belief, after reading their analysis. is that we have so convoluted the plot, by trying to orchestrate the “perfect” points at which to reveal our savior’s villainy, we’ve made the story too complex and difficult to follow.

So, it’s back to the desktop for us.  What results next, thanks to our readers, will hopefully be a better, more exciting story that will prove more fun for the reader and, with some luck, enticing for the would-be producer!

Happy writing, my friends!

ScreenwritingU’s “How to Get an Agent”

Hosted by Hal Croasmun via teleconference.

We recently sat through this free, two-hour teleconference.

Hal kept us engaged with real-life examples from his own extensive history in the business.  He seemed genuinely knowledgeable and sincere in helping aspiring writers find the right path into world of entertainment.

By the end, we came away with a few conclusions.

1. If you’re new to the writer’s realm and are ready to start the process of marketing your wares, as we are, you really should consider this class.
2. We have already discovered, what could equate to, a big mistake on our part.
3. That mistake will hopefully, only cost us money.

Living outside of Los Angeles, New York, Canada, and London, we already have some marks in the losses column.  Therefore, my partners and I will need to rely on our skills as writers, to get us in the door.

Once in, I believe managers and agents alike will discover a couple of writers ready to work in whatever capacity we can, even beyond that fateful day when we can say, “we’ve made it.”

The First Mistake:

With one script finished and polished, editorially, this course helped us realize that perhaps we aren’t done yet.  We, and our editor, are not “in the business.”  Therefore, our first mistake is, we thought we were done without purchasing coverage for our script.

The instructor mentioned a couple of go to service providers for coverage.  They are Scriptapalooza Coverage Services and Script Pipeline.  Rest assured, we will be looking into these services before sending another scrap of mail to anyone.

The Second Mistake:

We received a few rejections for the letters we recently sent out.  They all say the same thing, “Unsolicited materials.”  In short, they didn’t ask for and, therefore, won’t read our content.  In fact, some of these things have been sent back unopened with that note attached.

We have decided that we really need a manager.  A manager that can get us in the door, that wants to guide our journey, help us grow the right way, and most importantly, find us work in that part of the galaxy where we know we belong; work that will not only make them look good but keep us happily creating for years to come.

So, where do we go from here?

Well, we want to write.  We know we can write and we want to help others write.  Now we just need to get others to see that as well.

Education:

Good question.  There is a course that ScreenwritingU offers, ProSeries Screenwriting.  It is a six month course, all online, and when you’ve completed it, you become an “Alumni.”  That is, a member of a group of writers that are aspiring to attain that echelon of entertainment greatness, same as us, or those that have already passed through the fire and emerged with an option, a deal, what have you.

We would like, very much to take that course.  However, at $1,100.00 (USD) per person and each of us with families and day jobs, we may consider budgeting for the course and signing up next year.

Wait?  Does that mean we’ll put our aspirations on hold?  No way!  As aspiring writers, we have a plethora of story ideas to work on in the meantime.  Perhaps we can have another one or two stories ready by that time.

Coverage:

While working on getting better educated, we can certainly look into getting coverage on our already completed screenplay.  Since we can only meet once per week, and only for a few hours, it will likely to take us several weeks to sift through the notes and make any changes that could be suggested.  Regardless, for us, this will be a requirement going forward.

Manager/Agent:

After we’ve gotten our screenplay as polished as can be, it’s time to try and seek that elusive “Recommend.”  Okay, okay.  The author of this blog wasn’t even aware of the “Recommend, Pass, Consider” result of a submitted script.  Another thing we learned during this class.

Looking more closely at the coverage services noted above, it would appear that a purchased coverage will result in this key evaluation.  My understanding, though, is that it is not gospel and only reflects their opinion of the work submitted.  So, if notes or areas of concern are returned, work out the fixes and try again.

In the end, it is the “Recommend” that is the key to unlocking doors to managers or agents.

So, there you go my brothers and sisters of the pen.  If you think your screenplay is done and you haven’t gotten coverage, do so.  Once you get that “Recommend,” head on over to IMDBPro.com and peruse the list of managers that might be willing to give your Recommend a look over.

Never give up!  Never surrender!  …and happy writing!

Hello World!

We are EmptyMic Productions, and we are excited to open this blog.

EmptyMic is made up of three creative writers that have never published anything together.  So, for now, you may refer to us as, Three Blind Mice!  Seriously though, we decided, as we attempt to navigate the waters of Hollywood and abroad, we would share our wins and our lessons learned.

At this time, we have one completed screenplay, BREATHE, which we are attempting to market and will be entering into competitions.  For this tale, We’ve been through several rewrites and have corrected numerous things at the behest of our dear editor and have all agreed, it can’t get much better.  This work represents three, nearly four, years of work since we began laying out the idea and boy, what a journey that was.  The finished story is worlds apart from where it started, but light-years better than anything we thought it could be…or so we think.

Like so many writers, we believe that if we can get just one agent to read the script, it will sell itself.  However, we know better and know we must help it along. How?  That’s the million dollar question and that is where we are today.

As we embark on answering the how, we’ll be more than willing to pass on what we’ve learned and what, if anything, helped…or hurt…us.

In the meantime, we need to remain focused on wrapping up a TV series, Reap-possessors, and preparing it for marketing as well.

We’d be interested in your feedback and stories you might want to share with us.

For your entertainment and feedback, we have a 10-page excerpt of BREATHE that you can download from our website, EmptyMic Productions.

Likewise, our aforementioned TV series one-page is also available.

Feel free to drop us a line, share your feedback, or just plain follow us on facebook or on Twitter.

Finally, feel free to leave your comments here as well!

So, get out there and write, read, and have a blast!

Happy blogging!