We need to write because we are in love with the idea of writing. She’s needy and she demands the best that we can give when we have the time to give it. She relentlessly demands that we chase her and is cruel when she is denied . No matter where she leads us, how dark or cold it may be, she expects to turn and see us always there. Lurking. Chasing. She wants us to catch her! But only if we REFUSE to give up and remain steadfast in our pursuit, have we any hope of one day, claiming her for our very own.
Exciting hardly does the feeling justice.
I just reviewed our first ever analysis of our feature script, BREATHE. Actually, there were two readers, and each offered their own insight and suggestions on how we may improve the whole of our brain child.
First, let me assure my followers that I have never now, nor have I ever, held any feelings of ill will toward anyone who offers criticism of anything I, or my colleagues, write. Rewrites, questions, and suggestions are as much of the writing process as forming the initial outline, designing “The Board,”, and filling in the details. What works and what doesn’t are part of a stories transformation into something that others will (hopefully) want to produce.
Second, we established, each of my writing partners and I, a healthy understanding of not being too emotionally attached to any story. No story can grow to it’s fullest potential when it’s creator becomes too emotionally attached. We relish the changes and suggestions offered by others. We are writers and as such, we read, we watch, we brainstorm, and most importantly, we write about what drives us. In focusing on our craft, we sometimes miss what’s desired by our potential audiences and therefore, we must rely on them to help keep us grounded.
That said, let’s get on with it. Regarding the analysis of our story.
Of the two readers, both seemed genuinely intrigued by the theme, however execution was a concern for both.
Reading their comments, I come to one conclusion right from the start. The antagonist is misidentified or not clearly identified. Both readers misread the last 10 pages or so where the final reveal is given unmasking the real master-mind, who, until that time, is thought to be a savior of sorts. We’ve spent so much time making the unsuspecting patsy the primary suspect, that apparently, the patsy had assumed the identity of the antagonist. A huge blunder on our part in our first attempt at a cloak and dagger-esque feature script. We, obviously, need to address that.
Next, both readers were taken aback by our apparent attempt at a love interest between the two leads. A weakness, the team as a whole, knew would come to light but for the life of us, seem to be unable to address. How does one create a love interest when everything is changing violently around them? It seems clear, however, that we must find an answer to this some how. Do we even need a love interest in this “who they really were, tell all story of a fictional master mind driven to the edge?”
The core plot of the story is also misinterpreted. The story is focused on the villainy performed by the savior through acts that the character is convinced, in the long run, will save humanity. That is the character’s only goal. The story reveals the acts of that character, whom we know from the beginning is hailed as the savior of mankind. It is the secret betrayal, sacrifice, and treachery the character commits to make their vision come to pass that the story uncovers. We attempt to do this by jumping back and forth through timelines. Each jump is designed to reveal another aspect of the scene; the truth of the character revealed like the inside of an onion as the outer layers are cut away. My belief, after reading their analysis. is that we have so convoluted the plot, by trying to orchestrate the “perfect” points at which to reveal our savior’s villainy, we’ve made the story too complex and difficult to follow.
So, it’s back to the desktop for us. What results next, thanks to our readers, will hopefully be a better, more exciting story that will prove more fun for the reader and, with some luck, enticing for the would-be producer!
Happy writing, my friends!
We are EmptyMic Productions, and we are excited to open this blog.
EmptyMic is made up of three creative writers that have never published anything together. So, for now, you may refer to us as, Three Blind Mice! Seriously though, we decided, as we attempt to navigate the waters of Hollywood and abroad, we would share our wins and our lessons learned.
At this time, we have one completed screenplay, BREATHE, which we are attempting to market and will be entering into competitions. For this tale, We’ve been through several rewrites and have corrected numerous things at the behest of our dear editor and have all agreed, it can’t get much better. This work represents three, nearly four, years of work since we began laying out the idea and boy, what a journey that was. The finished story is worlds apart from where it started, but light-years better than anything we thought it could be…or so we think.
Like so many writers, we believe that if we can get just one agent to read the script, it will sell itself. However, we know better and know we must help it along. How? That’s the million dollar question and that is where we are today.
As we embark on answering the how, we’ll be more than willing to pass on what we’ve learned and what, if anything, helped…or hurt…us.
In the meantime, we need to remain focused on wrapping up a TV series, Reap-possessors, and preparing it for marketing as well.
We’d be interested in your feedback and stories you might want to share with us.
For your entertainment and feedback, we have a 10-page excerpt of BREATHE that you can download from our website, EmptyMic Productions.
Likewise, our aforementioned TV series one-page is also available.
Finally, feel free to leave your comments here as well!
So, get out there and write, read, and have a blast!